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Perhaps you have been
bullied in the past and don’t want to go through it again. Or maybe
you have seen colleagues whose life has been affected by bullying in
the workplace and you just want to make sure that you will never
have to go through that yourself. Whatever the reason, there is ONLY
ONE GOLDEN rule to prevent you from being bullied. That golden rule is: AS SOON
AS someone says or does something that is not acceptable or is
hurtful YOU MUST CONFRONT THE PERSON AND MAKE A NOTE OF THE
INCIDENT. This must NOT be dealt with in an aggressive manner. For
instance, is someone blames you for a mistake that you are not
responsible for, you have to tell the person that 1. You are not
responsible for that mistake; 2. Evidence that you are not
responsible; 3. Let the person know how the unfair accusation has
made you feel. THEN you have to make a note in your diary of 1) the
incident AND 2) the conversation you have had.
If another incident occurs,
for instance shouting, once again you have speak calmly with the
person and explain that shouting is not acceptable and once again
describe how that has made you feel. Then you make a note of both
the incident AND the conversation.
In brief, each time an event
occurs, you MUST make a note of the incident, confront the person
and make a note of the conversation you had.
If you follow this golden
rule the bully is likely to leave you in peace and find another
target. Why is that so? That is
because a bully can ONLY bully you if you let him/her bully you.
Bullies will go as far as they can push it if you let it happen. But
if you make it hard for them to bully you, you will be classified in
their minds as ‘hard work’ ‘not worth the time and effort’
‘dangerous, this person fights back’.
The bully ALWAYS looks for the
weakest link in a group. And the weakest link is a person who does
not fight back, the placid good natured people who just want to get
on with things. If you don’t learn to BE ASSERTIVE and stand up for
yourself from the very first incident, you may risk to become
a target at some stage. So empower yourself and calmly raise up to
challenges if necessary. Don’t turn your back and hope that things
will go away. Take responsibility for your own well-being.
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