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4. The full-on foe. Some people may have developed this style
because they had to fight all of their life. Some of them may keep
saying the sentence: "I'm not going to take any crap from people"
(pardon the expression!!!) and will always give as good as they get.
One of problems with this attitude is that even their loved ones or
people who really care for them are sometimes perceived as a
'potential enemy' and treated as such with the obvious consequence
of hurting and alienating the other person. Maybe some of these
people are afraid that if they enter a more 'pacific' confrontation
(where people can discuss issues freely) they will not feel in
control of the situation and of the outcome.
5. The shock-absorber. These people truly dislike arguments and will
avoid them at all costs. Rather than stating their opinion and
defending their rights if necessary, these people just sit quietly
and wait for things to return to normal again. However, inside anger
and resentment may build up, or depression may kick in.
6. Couples who don't argue. Well yes, there are couples who do not
argue. They probably never have and will try never to in the future.
They may both fear and dislike confrontation and prefer sweeping
everything under the carpet. Needless to say, what appears to be
calm on the surface may be in complete turmoil deep down and if
differences, needs, desires and so forth are constantly repressed
without even trying to talk about it, anything may happen...and they
won't see it coming. Years down the line they may try to figure out
what went wrong along the way and at what point they got lost.
7. The negotiator. These people genuinely want to understand the
partner's point of view and will also do their best to express their
own opinion in a constructive non-hurtful way. At the end of the day,
they accept that the other person is 'different' from them and that
what may be obvious for them, may not be as obvious for their
partner. From here the need to talk and figure out how to find an
acceptable compromise. Sometimes, even if it sounds strange, the
compromise may be to 'agree to disagree' and simply move on. But
indeed, most of the time compromises can be found if both partners
are willing to work at it.
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